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Post by liz4600 on Sept 17, 2008 17:51:19 GMT -5
Well, I don't believe many of you knew that my relationship with my father wasn't & isn't the best neither is my sister's or my mom's relationship with him and I was just exhausted from the whole thing and so was my mom so she finally decided to get a divorce and we were all thrilled about it until today when the lawyer came to our house so my father would sign the divorce papers and he decided not to, and when I came home I found my mom crying and she just looked so sad and exhausted because he basically told her that he wasn't gonna sign those papers(which force him to give us 50% of his salary & everything he owns) because we weren't gonna take his money or half of his things from him that he was gonna hire a lawyer to take all of my mom's properties and leave us with nothing, all that if she decided to go through with it and if she didn't want that then she should just let him take everything he owns (which is basically everything in the house, except the house) and well my mom told my sister and I it was our choice and we decided to go for it....but honestly I'm not quite sure about this, it might take a long time to get this over with and I really don't know if I can get through it or if it will be a good thing for my mom & my sister ( emotionally & physically)  ....I'm just having all of these emotions and I really don't know where to go or how to even focus on doing my homework or anything else....ahhh...anyways I do feel a little bit better for writing it down & thanks for reading it and if you guys have any opinions about it I'd love to hear them  |
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Post by ma2ar5 on Sept 17, 2008 18:19:41 GMT -5
im so sorry for this...i cant do anything but ill be praying for you.  |
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Post by jolene102 on Sept 17, 2008 19:57:07 GMT -5
so sorry about your situation. i hope things get better for you.
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Post by RunningAway on Sept 17, 2008 20:25:28 GMT -5
i'm sorry liz. that's an awful situation. i don't have the best relationship with my dad either, (my parents divorced when i was 8). so i know how you feel and what you're going through. i'm thinking about you.
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Post by gurlnlifemagazine on Sept 17, 2008 20:54:47 GMT -5
Aww, sweetie, I'm so sorry. You're mom is gonna have to stay tough. I don't know the situation, but these things usually go in favor of the mom. You're just gonna have to have faith that things will be alright. Even if you don't see who they will be or it's hard to imagine, you've go to trust that things will work out for the best. That's what I do and things do turn out right when I do that. Much love honey
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Post by klein on Sept 17, 2008 22:40:31 GMT -5
is any marriage actually not getting divorced these days? just seems kind of pointless to get married these days because it'll just screw you over in the end :/
anyway, sorry to hear about this....my parents divorced when I was 13 by the way... followed by the worst 3 years of my life.
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Post by keepingthechange on Sept 17, 2008 23:24:45 GMT -5
oh honey, im so sorry to hear this, my parents went through a very nasty divorce last year, with some different circumstances. All I can say is hang in there hon, we are all here to support you.
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Post by katelyn on Sept 18, 2008 0:35:18 GMT -5
aw liz i'm sorry. i can't give you any advice but if you ever need to talk i'm here for you. i hope your situation gets better soon.
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Post by Minka on Sept 18, 2008 7:56:50 GMT -5
Can they just sapparate without a divorce? My grandparents separated many many years ago (at least 20)and were married until my grandfather died 6month ago. None of them wanted to marry again, so it wasn't a problem being still married. My grandfather wasn't a good person and we hadn't any contact to him since years. It's up to your mom what she wants to do. How old are you and your sister? If you're under age (or life still with your mom) I doubt that he would get everything, as Lisa said, when kids are involoved, things like that go usually in favor of the mom. is any marriage actually not getting divorced these days? just seems kind of pointless to get married these days because it'll just screw you over in the end :/ My parents are still married, but I do agree and I am also not a big fan of marriage. (the thought of a wedding is already terrifying to me) |
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Post by KarlatheLHFan on Sept 18, 2008 9:16:39 GMT -5
I know that divorce is a heart breaking time for everyone, and unfortunately, it seems as if it's becoming more and more prevalent these days! All I can tell you is this, and it may seem kinda weird, but this is what we were taught in my introduction to social work class, and that is this: The dysfunction that may arise within the family unit is more or less normal, and it is put there to make the family (with the exception of your father now) become closer as a family unit. So, all you can do right now is keep your mom and sister together. You need to be the one that emits the compassion and encouragement, and let everyone know that everything will be ok. In the end, you'll come out stronger than you ever thought you would! Just hang in there, and feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk some more. My aim link is on my profile here as well as my email and my myspace! I'd be more than happy to provide you with any more support that you may need! Please take care of yourself, I know it's hard, but getting through this tough time will only make you stronger and build your character!
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Post by liz4600 on Sept 18, 2008 15:13:34 GMT -5
thanks a lot you guys!!! everything you said was like a huge hug for me & I really needed it  . Minka, I'm 17 & my sister's 19, the lawyer my mom hired said there wasn't going to be a problem because she's getting my custody but my father called his lawyer & apparently told him he would get everything & since he doesn't want my custody so I hope it all turns out in our favor. I had a very weird day today, like I was watching my life from above and I couldn't really focus but right now I am feeling better and I hope I can find the strength to keep feeling better.
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Post by aminta on Sept 18, 2008 16:43:01 GMT -5
I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts. My parents divorced this year, but they don't fight that much any more. Don't worry because of your dad. Everything will be fine with you and your family. Even if he has to take everything... Believe me, it may become a release for your family and you will begin a new chapter in your lives... And you'll get your happiness back.
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Post by FadedJade on Sept 19, 2008 14:42:26 GMT -5
I'm really, really sorry that you're having to deal with all of this. Without going into details, I'll just say that my parents divorce when I was 15 put me in a very similar situation so I understand how you feel--just know that you WILL get through it all!! Just keep supporting each other and you'll strengthen those bonds and help you deal with all of this!
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Post by liz4600 on Nov 17, 2008 20:30:19 GMT -5
^^thanks girls! Well, I thought you might want to know what's been going on lately about this situation so here's an update: Turns out that my father made an offer to give us 2500 pesos a month (which would be like 250 dollars, if I'm not mistaken) so I did my math and it's not enough money to cover our expenses so we talked with our lawyer and he tolds us that it would be best if we took that money because we don't have enough witnesses to win the divorce and in the best of cases we would be getting 17% of his salary which is much less than what he's offering or in the worst case my mom wouldn't get the divorce  ........I just hope this whole thing doesn't screw up my christmas cause I love my christmas!!!!!........the good thing is that since I have exams this week and papers and all I haven't really thought about it so it hasn't affected me that much, but I know that as soon as I have free time it'll hit me, but until then I'm feeling better than last time. It felt really good to write all this, because no one else knows about this, because I don't trust most people with my personal stuff, but it's very different here, so thanks for being so nice and making me feel like I'm not alone in this |
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Post by blufindr on Nov 18, 2008 3:07:29 GMT -5
I'm sorry it isn't going well  I hope it gets better soon. The courts do generally rule in favour of the mother, though, so it is quite likely that he'll have to give you half anyway. |
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....I'm just having all of these emotions and I really don't know where to go or how to even focus on doing my homework or anything else....ahhh...anyways I do feel a little bit better for writing it down & thanks for reading it and if you guys have any opinions about it I'd love to hear them 
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........I just hope this whole thing doesn't screw up my christmas cause I love my christmas!!!!!........the good thing is that since I have exams this week and papers and all I haven't really thought about it so it hasn't affected me that much, but I know that as soon as I have free time it'll hit me, but until then I'm feeling better than last time.
I hope it gets better soon. The courts do generally rule in favour of the mother, though, so it is quite likely that he'll have to give you half anyway.